Germany or Florida was a game to come out of the Jimmy Kimmel Live writers' office. The game was supposed to be a part of JKL, but they never did anything with it, so Adam took the liberty to bring it to Loveline.
The idea was first brought up during the show on 19 October 2003 when a caller named Corrine asked about a fantasy of hers (people wetting their pants) and if anyone else was into this. Drew explained that the thing about fetishes is there is always someone else who is into the same thing. Adam then mentioned that that person would publish a magazine or a website about it, and that that person would be most likely found in Germany or Florida. He goes on to speculate that the Germans are like the Japanese, living in an very structured and restricted environment will make the people snap the other way. The only possible explanation for Florida is the oppressively hot, humid weather and gravity. Drew points out that no one starts in Florida, they end up going there. While this is not the start of the game, it is the first time the phrase was brought up.
The game was actually talked about at the top of the show on 26 October 2003, followed shortly in the same segment with the very first 'Germany or Florida' call.
[For an easier to read, though less accurate, version of the following transcript, you can access an alternate edition here.]
Adam: "Uh, these guys are uh- you know it's funny, these guys [Yellowcard] are from Jacksonville, Florida. We have a, uh- I'll tell these guys about the game we play at the writers' meeting, uh, everyday at, uh, Jimmy Kimmel Live, which is, uh-" Drew: "Germany!" Adam: "which is, uh- shut up Drew. Which is called 'Germany or Florida'. And, uh, somebody comes in and says, uh, they taught their schnauzer to do the heil Hitler, and everybody at the table has to think 'Is this out of Florida or is this in Germany?' And, uh- we- we're at about seventy-five, eighty percent, but it's, uh, it could be, it could be a game that sweeps the nation. Florida or Germany. And it's just whatever story about guys, you know, having sex with the corpse of their wife eight years after she was killed in a riding mower accident or something. 'Uh, Bill, put it all on Florida!' Yeah, no no, yea- uh, really, there should be a board game called Florida or Germany. And don't ask me how Germany turned into the Florida of Europe. I mean I don't know what, what's going on over there in Germany. They're, they seem pretty buttoned up over there." Yellowcard guy: "Why- why Florida then? Why Florida?" Adam: "I- I- I don't know why Florida." Drew: "We ask ourselves that." Adam: "We ask ourselves, 'Why Florida?'" Other Yellowcard guy: "It's shaped like a penis." Adam: "There's som- There's something-" Yellowcard guy: "There's always a tie-in." Adam: "There's something that attracts the, uh, the free spirits, I'll euphamistically, um, call them, to Florida. But, uh, I don't know what it is." Yellowcard guy: "It's a pretty weird place." Adam: "Y- you know what's weird is? Florida is just a good, weird place with weird people, and thus there's weird things that come out of it. Germany is a really buttoned down place that has weird things come out of it, probably because it's buttoned down. But they- there's different reasons why weird things come out of Germany and Florida. But again-" Drew: "Strangely the same kinds of things come out of both places though." Adam: "Yeah, that's why it's tough." Drew: "Different means to the ends, right?" Adam: "It's a tough- it's a tough game, Drew. I'm going to bring you a big- we're keeping a- we're keeping a whole sheet of them, we'll bring them in one night and I'll read them off."
Adam and Drew had the following reaction to Natalie, the first person to call in with a Germany or Florida question.
Adam: "Uhhh, uh-oh. We got a Germany or Florida. We should start playing this, uh, Sunday nights." Drew: "Oh absolutely. Absolutely." Adam: "Germany or Florida." Drew: "People should call in with the stories and we'll pick."
The game works like this: all the macabre and evil events that go on in the world originate from either Germany or Florida. A caller will tell a news story (though it can be from any point in history), and Adam and Drew will guess if the story took place in Germany or in Florida. They tend to work it out before giving their final guess, speculating about possible clues in the story or attributing certain behaviors to one location or the other. With their guesses locked in, the caller will then inform them if they are right or wrong. If there are guests for that night, then they will participate as well.
If anyone involved is familiar with the story being told, they refrain from answering.
At one point, a fan of the show sent in a dry erase board that was an ongoing scoreboard for the game.
A side product of the game has been the Germany or Florida theme song. People to contribute their renditions are Adam, Annabella Lwin, Pink, Tori Amos, David Alan Grier, Andy Dick, Michelle Branch, and Theo.
Know of a GoF not listed below? Feel free to write it up and email us the details.
A Grand History of Germany or Florida Calls
Adam: Right(6) Wrong(5) Drew: Right(4) Wrong(6)
|
Date of call
|
Caller
|
Story
|
Predictions
|
Answer
| |
26 October 2003
|
Natalie
|
"This guy went on the internet to find a volunteer to be cannibalized. He claims he found a volunteer. They met, and first the guy took some painkillers on purpose. They cut off his penis and ate it together, then the cannibal killed him."
|
Adam, Drew, Yellowcard - Germany
|
Germany
| |
26 October 2003
|
Summer
|
"A man is found dead in his home of an apparent suicide - he bled to death, the reason he bled to death was that he cut off his penis and testicles, and when he was found he had a testicle in each of his pockets and his penis was in his mouth."
|
Adam, Drew, Yellowcard - Florida
|
Florida
| |
19 October 2004
|
Adam
|
"A man was shocked to come home and find all his furniture destroyed and the ceiling and walls torn apart in his condo. According to police, his enraged girlfriend went berserk after discovering he was cheating on her. She then used the chainsaw in his condo, destroying his possessions and part of his home. She was arrested after a note was found explaining her actions."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Germany (Munich)
| |
22 November 2004
|
Anthony
|
"It appeared that a mystery attacker may have had some sort of foot fetish when he stopped a woman on the street to sniff her shoe and lick her foot. The woman claims she was walking around in the town square when a man grabbed her leg, fell to the ground, and began sniffing her shoe. The publicity surrounding this latest attack reportedly encouraged another victim to come forward."
|
Adam, Drew, Leeann Tweeden - Germany
|
Germany
| |
24 November 2004
|
Anthony
|
"Police say a man bit an officer and his dog Friday after trying to stiff a cab driver on an early morning fare. So-and-so was charged Friday with assaulting a police officer, resisting arrest, and stealing. Police officer said the suspect broke the skin of an officer's hand when he bit him. The man then nearly bit the ear off the police dog."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Germany
| |
29 November 2004
|
Adam
|
"A man, 55 years old, was arrested for fraud and theft for a sham marriage to a comatose woman and for a subsequent purchases of almost $20,000 on her credit cards. According to the police detective, this man said the woman's dog told him that the woman would want him to use her credit cards and live a better life after she died."
|
Adam, Drew, Mark McGrath, Dayna Devon - Florida
|
Florida
| |
1 December 2004
|
Stacy
|
"A man with a strange obsession of birds arrived in a public park with a bird on a leash and a collar. Witnesses say the man then proceeded to pin the bird down on its back and rub his penis up and down the bird's chest. Policemen saw him and ran over, shouting for the man to stop. Startled, the man let go of the bird. The bird then bit his testicles, resulting in one of the man's testicles being halfway torn off."
|
Adam, Drew, Keane - Germany
|
Germany
| |
1 December 2004
|
Andrew
|
"Title: An Artist Wants To Be Fed To Piranhas. An artist has written to the country zoo to ask if they would feed his body to the piranhas once he's dead. The man who is 56 said he came up with the idea after hearing about another man who wanted to be fed to snails. He had justified the appeal by saying it could have educational purposes if, for example, it was done in front of a group of biology students. The zoo director said that even if he agreed, it probably wouldn't work. He said it was a great idea, but if you want to carry it out for educational purposes, then it would probably be better if you were fed to the piranhas alive as they are not as keen on dead flesh and prefer their food alive."
|
Adam, Keane - Germany /
Drew - Florida
|
Germany
| |
2 December 2004
|
Nat
|
"An award-winning artist was arrested Tuesday after he attempted to throw a vial of his own blood on a sculpture of pop star Michael Jackson on display at an art gallery. The man was charged with disturbing the peace and property damage after trying to splatter blood on a statue by well known Los Angeles artist Paul McCarthy which was on display at the museum. The statue which depicts Jackson and his pet chimpanzee Bubbles is part of an exhibit of contemporary art from a collection of a well known businessman. Museum officials said the artwork was not hit by blood which landed on a nearby wall. The 55-year-old Toronto artist reportedly shouted, "I am protesting against the loss of independence in art!" following the incident. Over the space of two decades he has been banned from numerous galleries including New York's Museum of Modern Art and The National Gallery of Canada for splattering X marks with his own blood on the walls."
|
Adam - Germany,
Drew - Florida
|
Germany (Berlin)
| |
6 December 2004
|
Dan
|
"A couple was taken under arrest after notifying police Thursday that their quarter pound stash of marijuana was stolen, and that they needed the weed back because they were going to sell it."
|
Adam, Drew, Kathy Griffin - Germany
|
Florida
| |
6 December 2004
|
Kevin
|
"Driving down the street, 9-year-old kid on the side of the road, trailer park, bent over, pants around his ankles, dog licking his butt."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Germany (Friedberg)
| |
7 December 2004
|
Felipe
|
"A woman ran over two teenage brothers after they accidentally hit her vehicle with a golf ball they were bouncing in the parking lot, leaving one of the boys with life threatening injuries. The three boys were bouncing the golf ball in a shopping center parking lot Sunday afternoon when it went astry and struck a vehicle driven by a local woman. The woman said no damage was done and the boys apologized and began to walk away. She started to drive away but suddenly made a U turn, ran over a median, and struck two of the boys causing severe injuries and knocking over a light pole. She then drove after the third boy, crossing two medians and striking a utility box before her vehicle stopped in a ditch, the woman said. The boy ran away and was not struck. A witness said she accelerated to hit the boys. "She charged them," he said. "This was a most deliberate act." The witness said he yelled at the woman to stay where she was when she got out of her car. After she ran them down, she got out of the car and lit a cigarette like a movie star, he said."
|
Adam - Germany,
Drew - Florida
|
Florida
| |
8 December 2004
|
Michael
|
"A man and woman were arrested for child abuse and neglect after they were found spreading feces on their children's bodies. The police arrested the couple with charges of child neglect and abuse. They said they performed the bizarre ritual because it accorded to the Bible of Satanism."
|
Adam - Germany /
Drew, Engineer Michelle - Florida
|
Germany
| |
13 December 2004
|
Megan
|
"A man lived in an apartment with his dead father for at least a year to avoid eviction. The father was skeletal, just skin and bones completely dried up. Firemen found the decomposed body sitting on the couch after neighbors reported a smell of burning. The unemployed son had not notified the authorities of the death because he feared he would be kicked out of the apartment which was rented under his father's name."
|
Adam - Germany /
Sum 41, Dr. Bruce - Florida
|
Germany
| |
14 December 2004
|
Alex
|
"A man has been charged with animal cruelty for allegedly biting his Jack Russell terrier as punishment. After receiving a complaint, police kicked down the apartment door when they heard an argument and a barking dog. They reported the terrier's left front paw was bloody from a bite. According to an officer, the man said that biting the dog was good punishment and that's how you trained them; that dogs bite, so that's what they understand. The man was jailed Saturday on one count each of felony animal cruelty and resisting arrest without violence."
|
Adam, Torry Castellano - Germany /
Drew, Allison Robertson - Florida
|
Florida
| |
16 December 2004
|
Eric
|
"A supermarket checkout worker stashed the day's takings into her shoes and hit herself over the head, pretending she had been held up and attacked by a robber. The 26-year-old woman told police she was alone in the store when a masked man forced her at gunpoint to fill several bags of money before knocking her unconscious with a blow to the head. The police became suspicious after an examination revealed the woman's head injury did not match up with the description of the attack. The woman then confessed that she had hit herself on the head with a blunt object and stolen the money to pay off debts."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Germany (Munich)
| |
4 January 2005
|
Eric
|
"A man driving his Mercedes on a busy street sets his cruise control at fifty miles per hour and proceeds to climb onto the roof of the speeding car and pretend to surf. He either jumps or falls off and is killed instantly. His car hit another vehicle that was stopped at a red light and luckily no one else was injured. After the body was identified, it was discovered that he was a 56-year-old man who had been the city's financial advisor for almost thirty years. His wife said that he had recently contracted a tropical disease and was on medication."
|
Adam - Germany,
Dr. Bruce - Florida
|
Florida (actually Phoenix, AZ)
| |
6 February 2005
|
Philippe
|
"A couple accused of torturing and starving five adopted children, including pulling out their toenails and subjecting them to electric shocks, were captured Friday. The family included seven adopted children between the ages of 12 and 17. Five of the children told investigators they were tortured by the couple, subjected to electric shocks, beatings with hammers, and having their toenails yanked out with pliers. One child weighed 36 pounds, one 38 pounds, another 80 pounds."
|
Drew - Florida (had heard the story before)
|
Florida
| |
14 April 2005
|
Hui
|
"A 77-year-old granny made a citizen's arrest when she tackled a 25-year-old jay walker. The 77-year-old sat on him until police arrived because he had walked across a road before the light was green. The woman shouted at the man as he crossed the road before the green light. The old lady said she became even angrier when he pushed past her when he
reached the other side of the road. She grabbed his hair and managed to wrestle him down to the ground where she sat on him until police arrived. He was taken to a local police station where he was fined for jay walking."
|
Adam, Drew, DAG - Florida
|
Germany
| |
6 June 2005
|
Celine
|
"A man was found masturbating in a tree last Tuesday. The tree was located in front of a Catholic schoolyard. The man, age 32, was spotted by a nun who quickly called police. Whent he police showed up at the schoolyard, the man jumped out from the tree with his pants down. The man was also a five time convicted pedophile."
|
Adam - Germany,
Drew - Florida
|
Germany
| |
7 June 2005
|
Cheyenne
|
"A 46-year-old woman was incarcerated for thirty days for shooting her neighbor's chihuahua. She told the authorities that when the chihuahua entered her backyard, the beast frightened her for her life and she fired her shotgun twice into the air before killing the animal. It was a three pound chihuahua."
|
Drew, Sam - Florida / Adam, John - Germany
|
Florida (Naples)
| |
8 June 2005
|
Ian
|
"A local politician wants to use DNA technology to chase down owners of dogs who leave their droppings on streets and sidewalks. A counselor of a local district said Monday he wants the city to register all dogs' DNA so that droppings left behind during walks can be tested and the owner of the guilty dog punished."
|
Adam - Germany, Drew - Florida
|
Germany
| |
9 June 2005
|
Dan
|
"Police routinely investigate internet chatrooms for sex crimes and child pornography. They found posts from a man trying to find voluntary victims for a cannibalistic slaughter romp. Upon further investigation-"
|
Adam, Drew, Dexter Holland - Germany
|
Germany
| |
12 June 2005
|
Jim
|
"Mother locks her 12-year-old son in basement to protect him from pitbull (it's one of their pets). The son finds a way to get out-" "He got out of the basement and the dog killed him."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Florida (actually San Francisco, CA)
| |
15 June 2005
|
Crit
|
"Three men, dubbed the 'Grandpa Gang' because of their advanced ages, were convicted of robbing fourteen banks of more that $1.2 million. The men occasionally used guns dating back to World War II. They range in age from 64 to 74. "It's unbelievable how easy it is to rob a bank once you've done it a couple of times," [one of the men] said during his trial, adding that fear of having no money and spending the rest of his years in a nursing home drove him to commit the crimes."
|
Adam, Drew - Florida
|
Germany
| |
19 June 2005
|
Brian
|
"A 42-year-old man was sentenced to twelve and a half years in prison for shooting a pastor to death on the street last August. The murder occured shortly after the defendant ran over two bicyclists with a stolen car. The pastor followed him and convinced him to pull over, but whent he theologian tried to call the police with his cell phone the man opened fire with the stolen gun hitting the person twice in the head. The defendant, who was drunk at the time of the shooting, said his life had fallen apart because his wife wanted to leave him."
|
Adam - Germany / Drew, Justin Long - Florida
|
Germany
| |
25 July 2005
|
Hui
|
"A man is charge with murder when his 3-year old son was pummeled into unconsciousness and then death, the toddlers mother testified that her husband thought the boy might be gay, and would force him to box. The mother told the court that her husband would make the boy fight with him, slapping the boy in the head until he cried or wet himself. The man would starve the boy and on one occasion, the man slammed the boy’s head against the wall because he was vomiting."
|
Adam - Florida / Dr. Bruce - Germany
|
Florida
|
People who have contributed to this article: atramors, Lou Cypher, Lefty
Know of a GoF not listed above? Feel free to write it up and email us the details.
|
|
|