Hack is the name of a show which ran on CBS from 2002-2004. It was a one-hour primetime drama starring David Morse. In the context of Loveline, however, it is used as part of the setup for a joke about Adam pitching ridiculous plot ideas on a TV show.
The genesis of the joke is that Adam grew up watching a lot of TV in the 70s and 80s, and they would always do the following style of promo. "This week on McCloud, in order to catch a jewel thief, McCloud is going to have to become a jewel thief." The joke is to do the same thing, except it always ends with 'rapist' (discussed on 8 June 2005).
On 28 October 2003, the guests were Jason Bateman and Will Arnett from Arrested Development. Jason brought up the fact that Arnett had a unique voice and that he did commercial voiceover work, such as for GMC trucks. "Professional grade engineering. It's not more than you need, just more than you're used to." Arnett brought up the fact that he used to do promos for the networks, such as CBS. "On a Touched By An Angel you can't believe..." is the example given, to which Arnett comments 'How can you not believe it? There is no way that it is unbelievable. There's nothing that you can do on Touched By An Angel that I won't believe.' Adam tells Will that he wants him to do the following promo; "This week on Hack, in order to catch an arsonist, Hack's going to have to become...a rapist!" And each week it's a new thing. "In order to- in order to bust up a laundering moneying, uh, money laundering schreme...scheme, Hack's gonna have to become...a rapist!" Arnett comes up with "In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become...a rapist!" Later in the show, they revisit the subject. Adam has Will do the following; "This week on Hack, to catch an international jewel thief, Hack is going to have to become...a rapist!" Even later in the show, Adam prompts Will with 'In order to infiltrate a white supremacist organization, Hack-', at which point Arnett breaks in with "In order for Amber's boyfriend to come back, she's going to have to become...a rapist!" As the show is ending, Arnett does the following; "This week on Hack, to catch a terrorist, Hack will have to become...a rapist!" The show ends with Anderson playing the clip where Will says "In order to reach these kids, Hack will have to become...a rapist!"
The next time Arnett was a guest, they brought up the subject again and did it a couple more times. Every so often, Adam will ask Anderson to play one of the Hack clips since he enjoys it so much. Drew has stated since the first time it was done that he does not find it to be funny, and prefers DAG's 'love-making' clips.
The Hack scenario became a popular joke in the Loveline community, with the following formula primarily used:
"In order for [someone] to [do something], [someone] will have to become...a rapist!"