From: Lisa Cigliana <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Subject: review of the Seattle loveline show
Date Posted: 1999/02/17
The ballroom was full for the University of Washington Loveline show on Friday, Feb. 12. Anticipation was in the air. Event staffers repeatedly announced that people who had questions for Adam and Drew should sit on the aisles.
Right exactly on time (8 p.m.), two pair emerged stage right. (From my vantage point, the main door partially opened and closed a few seconds before they came out, and I could briefly see the torso of a person wearing a well-pressed oxford blue dress shirt and I knew that I had just spied Dr. Drew's torso. When they appeared up on the stage, I was correct. The well-pressed dress shirt tipped me off.)
They stood up on the stage and looked at the crowd. It is humorous just simply to see them standing there. Adam said something welcoming and in the first 5 words included the word "masturbation." The crowd went all giggly. Adam said, "all I've go to do is say the word..." (and people start laughing).
The stage was two chairs and two microphones. I don't believe that Adam ever sat down. Drew did sit down once or twice. A microphone malfunctioned and went high on reverb, which was the cause for some humor while it was replaced.
A sampling of questions:
A person said that they had just visited the dentist, and that the dentist had commented on evidence (in the mouth) that the person was overexcessively performing "oral fellatio." The evidence was white bumps around the back of the mouth. Dr. Drew went, "what?......." and didn't believe it. Dr. Drew said that the dentist had bad boundaries and was intrusive, and that the person should get a new dentist. Adam went off with a comedic bit about how women need metallic guards at the back of their throats in order to prevent wear and tear during oral sex. He was very funny, and it was clearly all stream of consciousness ad-libbing. He made some analogies to automotive parts that are designed to minimize wear and tear, but I'm not a car aficionado, so it went over my head. He was on a tear, he had the crowd in stitches. Of course, he went off on a tangent about the needs to gay men, in this regard. It was hilarious, in a typical Adam way. Both Adam and Drew said they had not heard of this phenomena.
Let's see, I really can't remember the questions/answers in exact order, so I'll just do the best that I can.
A woman said that she was the "world's oldest virgin." Drew said "good!", Adam was quietly respectful until he asked "and how old are you?" She said "18," at which point the crowd chortled en masse. She said that she is dating a man and they were discussing having sex, but that she revealed that she is a virgin. He then became distant and later called to say that he was having second thoughts. She wanted Adam and Drew's comments. Drew turned his back from the crowd (to get a drink of water) and said "this guy's a dick." Adam said "boy, you know a guy's a jerk when Drew calls him a dick. For Drew to call somebody a dick, that's saying a lot!" Then Adam started saying how he thought that a lot of guys would want to bed a virgin, that it's a trophy situation. Drew said, "but he's thinking that if she's a virgin now, that's how it's going to stay," and Adam said "oh, I can see that, I might do the same thing." Drew said that maybe the woman wasn't ready and that this probably wasn't the right guy anyway.
A student from the UW dental school stood up and said that dentists can indeed tell when there is excessive fellatio going on. The back of the throat gets certain distinct qualities. He also said the same for the tongue for the person who is giving oral sex. There is a kind of wear-and-tear or erosion. Adam said, "jeez, what's with this crowd and all the dental questions?"
A man stood up and said that he wanted to get his scrotum pierced. Adam asked Drew, "if you get your scrotum pierced, doesn't your soul slip out of your body?" Drew said, "no, what you lose is your vital essences." Adam asked, how can you PIERCE your scrotum? He analogized about the frenum of the tongue (that thin part that attaches the tongue to the floor of the mouth). I guess that is where the piercing actually takes place in the testes. Adam went off for a while comedically about testicle piercings. Drew said that the man should think hard about the long-term consequences of taking this action. Adam said "there are many things that I thought about doing when I was 19 that I couldn't afford to do, or was unable to do, that I am now glad I was unable to do."
Adam told a full-length version of the "jacuzzi in the ass" story, and there were details that I had never heard on the radio which might be a little too much for radio. Even if you've heard the basic outline of the story before, it was still hilarious and had the crowd in hysterics.
A man stood up and said that he lives in shared housing, and there's a roommate who suddenly has taken to walking around the house naked. The other roommates are made uncomfortable by it, and there's a new female roommmate who doesn't know yet. Adam and Drew said that the naked roommmate should be confronted abou the behavior because it is shared space and there should be rules for acceptable behavior.
A woman stood up and said that her friend is on the birth control pill but doesn't take them regularly. Then, it messes with her menstrual cycle, which becomes irregular. Adam asked Drew, "what is it with these pills for birth control? Can't a woman figure out what days to take them, without having to take sugar pills? Aren't women smarter than this packaging technique?" Drew said that it's more difficult than it appears because you don't know exactly which days to take the sugar pills. Somebody (drew or adam) asked if the woman in question was sexually active, and the answer was no. Drew said, "then why is she taking them, is it to regulate her periods?" The answer was yes. The crowd laughed, because she is taking them to regulate her periods, but she isn't taking them every day and it is wreaking havoc with her periods. Adam said, "now, with a roommate like this, I think that she should have to give an extra security deposit because of all the menstrual flow." This got a laugh, but a nervous laugh. Adam said, "whoa, I've offended the crowd. Gee, I can go on and on about jacuzzis up the ass and blowing water out, but just mention menstrual blood and the crowd gets hostile!"
A woman stood up and objected to an attitude that she heard on Loveline. She felt that Adam and Drew tell women that they should wait to have sex because they are not ready to have sex so young, and that some magical day when they are 25 or 30 they will begin to enjoy sex. She protested that this merely continues the idea that women cannot become masters of their own sexuality, even at a young age. She said she felt that Adam and Drew perpetuate the stereotypes of a male-dominated sexuality. Adam said, "that's what we're saying every night, that sexuality is centered around the man, and that it's not OK for the woman. That's why we encourage a woman to wait, we're on the same side as you! Sheesh, I think that she's just standing up and talking because her vibrator is broken!" People laughed and applauded.
Adam told portions of the "gay aptitude test." It had different definitions than I had heard before. One was, "if you wear turtlenecks out of season .... " and there was a clique of college-age men sitting near me. One of them was wearing turtleneck (monogrammed, no less!), and the entire group of these men went ape and were laughing at this guy, who was good naturedly laughing with them. I felt for him a little bit, but I guess that's how college-age men are.
Adam closed with the Russian Rapper bit, which went over OK but didn't leave the audience half as satisfied as the other comedic bits.
At about 9:20 p.m., they just said "good night" and walked off the stage, and out the door. No encore, nothing. It was a very funny evening.