Main»Jack That Dork

Jack That Dork is a takeoff of the old 50s game show (which also saw remakes in the 70s and 90s) Name That Tune in which contestants had to guess the name of a song in a certain number of notes. The twist in this version of the game is that contestants have to try and ejaculate in as few strokes as possible, constantly bidding lower and lower until one of them calls the other's bluff by saying 'jack that dork!'

The game came out of a phone call on 8 February 2004. Charles, 20, claimed that when he urinated, it went off to the side because he had been masturbating with his right hand since he was 12, and tried to correct his penis's direction by using his left but it did not help. Adam thought it was bogus, but continued on with the call. Charles claimed that '[he] got it down to where, you know, [he could] do it in a commercial.' To which Adam said he could do it in 15 strokes. Charles did not understand the reference and admitted defeat. Drew suggested that it was called 'Name That Bone', then Adam came up with the title 'Jack That Dork'. Adam and Drew then went on to simulate the game and discuss the rules, such as what constitutes one stroke. In championship play, a band would play Flight of the Bumblebee by Rimsky-Korsakov and there would be a laser beam to make sure that the strokes were regulation. In an effort to answer Charles's question, Drew quickly suggests that he may have a Peyronie's condition and that 800 units of vitamin E a day might help, and mentions surgeries and just laying off the trauma, so to speak. Adam jumps back into gameplay details for the 'Boner Round'. A picture of the contestant's grandmother would be put up on the big screen television and there would be no looking away from it or closing the eyes, or they would show Schindler's List or video of victims from the Vietnam War or something equally unsettling. They discuss the strategy of the whole game, and contemplate getting [Mark] DeCarlo or Jeff Probst to host it. They imagine what it would be like interviewing the winner after the show.