Theo has called the show many times and gained fame by delivering unique and creative songs for various things on Loveline. Adam and Drew praise his work, and his "Germany or Florida" theme has dominated over all previous themes.


  • Germany or Florida Theme (version 1):

Things are sick and twisted from too much sun and Nazis
sex, meth, and death fetishes, both of them have got these
guaranteed not to bore ya, Germany or Florida!

  • Germany or Florida Theme (version 2):

Floridians are crazy, it seems Germans are too
when it comes to f'ed up b.s. there's nothing they won't do
so ask away, it's time to play, don't say I didn't warn ya
it's Adam Carolla's favorite game, Germany or Florida!

  • Ace's Accordion Countdown Theme:

14, 9, immediately, 2
Whatcha whatcha whatcha whatcha whatcha gonna do
Mexican musicians, breakin it down
on Ace's Accordion, Count-down

  • 2004 Christmas Song:

Smoked almonds are warming by the fire side
tinsel and lights and goodtimes of yule tide
Mom took some pills and I think she just died
it's going to be a Loveline Christmas
Everytime I see my older brother
it makes me want to go and f' my mother
Germans turn dog s' into butter
Florida does the same thing too
now Adam's at home drunk on red wine
Drew's with his kids having a good time
Engineer Anderson's with a hooker who's blind
and Chris is at his mom's
and you, you're at home going insane
this holiday cheer is scorching your brain
accordian music best describes your pain
this song aint my best it's a little bit lame
yeah but still
have a Loveline Christmas

  • Chief Thunderbear Theme:

Riding on the back of a buffalo
he came from the desert where the corn won't grow
he works on girls, not on boys
he has a speculum of turquoise
he's Chief Thunderbear, OBGYN

  • My Loveline Valentine:

Choke me, spank me, tie me up
hump my head til I throw up
bite me, punch me, call me names
take a poop we'll play scat games
kick me, lick me, do it again
like with my uncle when I was ten
bring a friend, i'll bring one too
you watch me and i'll watch you
suck my feet i'll wash your knees
we'll both find ways to try and please
i'll bring the pot you bring the wine
and be my loveline Valentine.